When I examine the three-phase Federal government guidelines for Opening up America again, I see families visiting loved ones in nursing homes and hospitals is in phase three. Therefore, in many states this could be several months away. I am acutely aware, both personally and professionally, the difficulty not only to keep the vulnerable aged population safe from COVID-19, but also how difficult it is to keep them connected to their family and the world around them. I am also very aware of how the staff at facilities caring for our elders are stretched to their working limits, and an abundance of gratitude is not nearly enough for all they are doing. With all that considered, I am posting some suggestions on how to connect to the ones we love from afar.
• It is important to connect with a social worker or staff member to establish who is the best caregiver in the facility able to share your loved one’s health status, i.e. if they are drinking and eating? Have they any COVID-19 symptoms? Have they been tested for the virus? And, has COVID-19 been found in their residence or with caregivers?
• If eating and drinking is a problem, delivering a favorite food (within dietary restriction) to the front desk with a note on it saying how much you love them could be helpful. Providing their favorite juice or drink. Jelly drops are an option, too.
• Send a note each day, for them to have and read again. Be mindful of eyesight, and if that is a problem maybe connecting with a caregiver to read it to them would be helpful.
• Send a book for those who can still enjoy reading.
• Create a photo album and put captions under each picture for them to enjoy each day.
• Go to the facility or home and enjoy a moment of sharing through the window.
• Do exercises together with those who can use a phone with speaker or video chat.
• Read to them over the phone.
• Send them a stuffed animal or rabbit haired animal for comfort.
• Get technology to them for song and communication.
• Have your child write them a letter. Recruit others to send notes, too.
• Draw a picture, have a child or grandchild draw a picture and mail it to them.
• Place a call and share a memory. Start by saying, “I was thinking about the time…” and share the details recreating the memory for them, rather than asking them “Do you remember?” Tap into a passion or a well-known tradition your family or friend group enjoyed together. A happy thought brings the best moments.
• If your loved one lives in proximity to you, visit regularly and enjoy a chat through the window, from the porch, in a car. Do a drive by with family.
• Sing a song together, Sing a song to them. Play a musical instrument.
• Make a sign to post outside their window if a facility will allow it.
• Watch the same show at the same time, or a church service, sharing that connection.
• To those comforted by prayer, pray together.
• Collaborate with family on other ways to share in the connection with your loved one.
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat…Remember those who are caring for your loved one and remember to find ways to thank them. An appreciated caregiver is one who can go that extra mile.
